Almost a year ago, I posted on the subject of the high-tech toilets Jean and I found during our trip to Japan. In particular, I noted that they came with warning labels because they were electrified, so what with all those fluids flying around, we would be taking on some incremental risk over using old-fashioned passive toilets. The problem the labels warned about was danger of electric shock.

As it happens, the problem, now that it has materialized, isn't electric shock. It's flames. Apparently a manufacturing defect caused a few to catch fire, forcing the manufacturer to recall 180,000 of them. The company spokeswoman's remarks are rich: "The fire would have been just under your buttocks."

What has happened, as I pointed out in my previous post, is that a simple device has become overcomplicated.

God only knows what's in one of these things. The controls alone require some sort of manual to decipher. Let's see. Stop. I got that one. Whatever it's doing, some time or another, you're gonna want it to stop. Water pressure: that could get interesting. Warm seat, deoderizer: we can figure those out.

But what does "standby" mean? Causes one to ponder, doesn't it?

The pink button apparently is used when ladies wish to elevate themselves on a gentle cloud of mist. The blue button is, of course, only for use by males who are members of the Omega Gamma fraternity.

Toilets have come a long way since the 16th century.

Or have they? No moving parts, no clogging, no overflow, no replacing flapper valves, no fires, no shocks, no warning labels: just a few minutes of solitude and relief. Maybe we need to re-think all this.